seattle Student essay

“This was my chance to feel what it was like to surpass all doubts and to pass on what I have encountered to others like myself.”

Dear Williwaw Adventures,

"Hello, are you a Williwaw camper? My name is Mia and I noticed the Williwaw tee-shirt collar sticking out from underneath your pullover." Was along the line of what my camp instructor said as I wandered puzzlingly around the baggage claim area. That seemed to be a pretty friendly greeting, but a part of me wanted to reply reluctantly, "I'm sorry, but I don't know what you're talking about," and return safely and swiftly home on the next flight available. But I guess it was time for me to take the risk and leap forward to something that I've always been afraid to do...

My name is Mia and I'm an upcoming junior at Evergreen High School. I'm a 4.0 student and will be the first in my family to graduate from high school and hopefully go on to college. My family sure seemed like a perfect one until everything started crumbling. My past was just a cover-up, sugar-coated with icing and glaze.

Growing up as the youngest of four siblings and living in a single-parent household I was always cautious and fearful of taking risks. Why, you may ask? Well, now I know that I was afraid of failure and devastation. Is it wrong to be scared of ending up like my mom, counting on numerous men for support? I despise that and find no comfort in having to assist an illiterate older sister who has followed in my mom's footsteps. I feel weighed down and constantly tangled up in a web of someone else's mistakes, my own worries, and the yearning for unachievable flawlessness.

At a young age I thought I was the luckiest kid to have a complete family and the smarts to do well in school. Yet, all of that shifted as the years flew by things started falling apart. Suddenly, my closest sister dropped out of school and ran away from home. My kind step-dad, as it turned out, had been sheltering a family of his own and my mom then decided that it was time for her to move on. Then more tragic news turned up: my father had past away in my homeland. Alongside that the struggle in school kept on getting more intense as I advanced. Yes, I was on the verge of breaking down, but never once did I dare share my feelings with anyone. I didn't want others to know that I didn't have a father and more importantly I didn't want to think or be questioned about the imperfections in my life. Everything was crashing down on me so fast; I didn't even have time to think about it. So I shoved all of those unpleasant thoughts out of my mind. While the web, in turn, kept on growing and growing.

Then I joined Summer Search and went on a 17-day wilderness expedition with Williwaw Adventures that sounded quite terrifying. Yet, with the continuous support and pushing of the Summer Search mentors, I ended up going on a trip that meant much more than a vacation to me. It was an encounter with life and the beginning of alterations in my life. Through Summer Search I've gained and learned that I had the ability and all the necessary assets to be myself in order to overcome all obstacles. I took a big leap that I'm sure I'll never regret and have much to be thankful for.
The interview for Summer Search must be the toughest interview anyone will ever encounter in their life. Yet, there I was entering the room and taking a shot at it. Upon entering I tried to be as casual as possible, until we got to talking. In the next second everything that had been bubbling up deep within me just burst out. I was sharing with them all that I've kept locked up and wanted to seal away forever. My life, my aspirations, my fears; all that and more of which I'm glad I let out. My past is what molds and makes me who I am. Summer Search has given me the chance to stumble and fall in order to find out, that within me I have the ability to pick myself up again.

I'm not going to lie and try to be brave, because I'm not. In truth when I received news that I was going on this trip I was petrified. From the beginning this trip was challenging, from booking a flight to white water rafting. Not to mention back packing up a mountain and rafting down class III and IV rapids. I don't know how to swim and here I am going on a trip that involves water half of the time. On the first day of our water activity we did some solo rafting, where each person would be alone on what they call a "ducky" with no seat belt and just a paddle going through rapids. I wasn't happy nor can you say I was excited to do such a thing. So I was surprised when I passed through the first rapid safely, with just learning from the instructors "to paddle hard and paddle straight" and if the worst does happen to hang onto my paddle. However, on entering the second rapid and taking just one look at it I knew that it was impossible. Yet, there I went entering the rapid screaming and yelling, flying out of my ducky and landing in the dark, cold, river water. All I could remember was the instructor's word of hang onto your paddle, which didn't help. Although, we did have life jackets on I felt like I was drinking water and being held underwater for ages. I wasn't prepared for this, being stuck in the rapid having to be carried along with it, when all I could hopelessly do was struggle to stay afloat, shout and scream for help. Yes, this was one of my fears and I survived.

As I hiked up the infamous Mount Katahdin and as I drown in the strong current of the river's waves all I could do was picture the goal before me. A goal that I must reach in order to conquer all fears. This opportunity had been handed to me, while others like my family and friends at home may never be able to acknowledge this chance. This was my chance to feel what it was like to surpass all doubts and to pass on what I have encountered to others like myself. For someday they too will experience what I've felt at that very moment of reaching the peak of the grandest mount in Maine or being rescued from the storming waves.

Until today I still can't believe I finished this trip and gained new insights about my life. No longer will I doubt myself, be afraid of taking risks and forging a way for myself in all opportunities given to me. Looking back on all that I've done a person who is strong might not have been able to accomplish what I have. I still can't seem to describe in words or say exactly what drove me to fly through with this trip, Yet, I'm grateful for that invisible boost because now I believe that anything is possible when I try and take a chance.

They say that through all a person's hardships and struggle they tend to grow more within the process. So just like a plant that feels under pressure and locked up in its environment I know that it will strive every single day to reach the sunlight, where eventually it will bloom into a keen, vibrant flower. Every single day I will continue to struggle to reach the top and with that I will hope to grow strong and grand like the flourishing flower.

Thank you,

Mia